Hello Heartbreak

When I was very young, my mother took me to see Les Misérables. I enjoyed it very much, but we had to leave early at the end because I was crying so hard. For months I’d been listening to the cassette of the performance over and over and obsessing over the minute details of all of the characters. My mother surprised me with tickets when we were in New York and I was looking forward to the show more than I’d ever looked forward to anything in my short little life. So when I couldn’t stop sobbing as Jean Valjean lay dying at the end, my mother had to take me out of the theater. What a disappointment! All that anticipation, and I couldn’t even stomach the ending. To this day I’ve never seen the end. The characters and the story was so vivid and so real that I couldn’t bear to think of things reaching a conclusion for me.

Now, here, I am reaching the end of my stay in Nablus. Instead of pitching a fit in the aisle, I have grown older and wiser and now understand that life is not like Les Misérables and nothing about me getting on a plane to go home means that things have to end for me here. I am sad to go, but by no means feel as though this is a good bye. I am looking forward to coming home and preparing myself mentally and emotionally to come again. Now that I know what to expect, I feel like I am ready to enrich myself in the meantime and come back to Palestine more fully prepared.

A good friend here once told me that the worst parts about this place would change your life and the best parts, too. I worry that too many people following this blog may think that my time here has been depressing and miserable. Quite the contrary. I have never been so close to the warm heart of the human spirit as I have been living in Nablus. I have seen and heard a great many things that broke my heart, but just as many things have lifted my understanding of the human experience to heights never before imagined. I need time to think about this. I am not a religious person, but I have witnessed things here that shine brighter and steadier and more true than all the stars in the sky. They are things that shine in the human heart, universal ideas and morals that are found wherever conflict and strife exist. War brings out the worst in people, but then it also brings out the best. Our only hope is to remember the best so it can fortify us through difficult times.

The good news is that not all the bombs, checkpoints, bullets, humiliations, and murder in the world can scare that which is good out of the human experience. Long after the stars in the sky have burnt out and long after the earth has ceased to spin in its seat, all of the good deeds will still shine brightly in the fabric of time. The most beautiful monuments to success, the most fascinating and breathtaking natural formations, and the most majestic celestial miracles cannot compare to making the right decision, to being decent to one another, and to making someone else smile through their tears. In this way the spirit of the Palestinian people is secure. There is always a brave soul to tow the line of human decency and many of them are found in this tiny piece of land. In the physical realm, Palestine’s situation is very dire. The land is in danger and stands against the biggest and strongest forces of decay and destruction, but such a giant is not hard to flip over your shoulder if you know its weakest point. All that is required is a tiny spark to light up the goodness that rests in the hearts of the people here. I’m sure such an ember is sleeping here among the Palestinians tonight. I look forward to that promise being fulfilled.

So I’m leaving soon, and my heart is breaking, but at the same time I consider myself blessed beyond words to witness such nobility of the human spirit. I have been lucky to travel the world and set my eyes on many things, but I have never set my eyes on something so wonderful as Palestine and the goodness that exists here.

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